And then my dad planted a tree in the yard

So, my dad is an incredible asshole and there's not much more of an excuse for his behavior but that. Also he would die a thousand deaths if he knew I called him an asshole. Once, when I was younger, he was listening as I was talking to one of my friends on the phone and I called him a "dumb butt" and he lost his shit and grounded me or something. I don't quite remember just that it was really bad. But he doesn't even know how to turn on a computer and just today he called and asked if I would "look on that computer and find me some tobacco seeds." That was easy enough but do you know how many different types of tobacco seeds there are? A lot. Anyway, he planted three plum trees in the front yard because he wanted to and it's his property. One of the trees is exactly where the second or third row of chairs for the wedding will need to be placed. This was all explained to him and he doesn't care. I can't remember the exact number but there are approximately 25 acres of land there on which to plant a plum tree and he refuses to move it. And so it is. I was thinking I would just put his chair right by the goddamn tree, but like I said it will probably be the third or so row so that won't work. Now I think I'll just water the tree with a little Round Up after the wedding.

A trainer at a Sea World was killed by an Orca yesterday. As much as I have enjoyed going to zoos and places like that in the past I really sort of have a problem with them now. These animals really shouldn't be caged. Its really just sort of sad, and wrong. And to quote Dr. Hunter S. Thompson:
"Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top."

And now my Dad wears a neck brace

Sometime Friday, unbeknownst to me, my Dad fell down in the yard and broke his neck. But it's not really as bad as it sounds when you put it like that. Dad fell down and somehow got back up and decided he may have hurt himself so he had mom take him to the MEA clinic. They told him he had arthritis and possibly something wrong but they couldn't tell so call back Tuesday if it still hurts(amazing medical practice if you ask me, which you didn't). Cut to Tuesday when Dad has driven himself to the dentist to have stiches out(totally unrelated boring dental work story) and the MEA calls and tells mom that something is wrong with the X-Ray and Dad should call them immediately because I guess they can't relay the broken neck emergency information to the patient's wife(!). Dad calls and is told he has fractured his second vertebra and should go to St. Dominics right away. He does and has to stay over night and be fitted with a neck brace that he will have to wear for "six weeks or six months I can't remember." Awesome.
Not so important in the big scheme of things sidenote: My wedding is in five weeks!

Friday night Eric and I were given a Stock the Bar Shower by some of our lovely friends, and by our friends I mean Eric's friends who I have acquired through our relationship with one another. So that was awesome and we got lots of booze which I will surely need to get through the next month. I would like to start drinking more during the week, but it sort of interferes with my need to go to the gym and drink lots of water so we'll see about that.

Eric's bachelor party is this weekend and I'm sure they'll have lots of fun in New Orleans. I'm going to have lots of fun here cleaning my parents house and making my little brother help me replace boards on the deck since my dad can't help anymore. If he didn't want to help all he had to do was just say so or just sit there like my mom does. He didn't have to go and break his neck.

I think eventually these posts will get more positive.

Oh, and that reminds me, we officially own the house now as of Friday! So all that shit in November about not being able to close and how awful that was turned out to be what some would call "a blessing in disguise" because we didn't have to pay for that plumbing disaster in December! And I really do hate it when people say "a blessing in disguise" because at that time it didn't feel like a blessing it felt like our shit was in our showers and we had to clean it up.

And now we have no water

The weather here has been terribly cold. So cold that many many water mains throughout the city have burst and we are on our third day without water. This is pretty fucking bad but it is made worse to me because a month or so ago our sewage began backing up into our showers and they dug up our beautiful front yard and walkway to replace the entire pipe. I've gotten very good at the cognitive behavioral therapy technique of telling myself "I love this house so much" instead of "This house is bad luck and we are doomed."
We are set to close on the 22nd. Ten days. We have a stock the bar party that night and are going camping the next. It is much too cold right now to be outside.
We have so much to do to prepare for the wedding and my family is less than enthusiastic. I've given up on expecting them to do anything. I've also given up on expecting my friends and family members to be decent, considerate human beings. I'm thinking of giving it up myself. At least when interacting with them.

Where were we?

Apparently we were in August. Now it is November and I guess I got tired of posting on this stupid blog. So, for now, updates only.
Wedding planning began furiously and is now almost non-existent as we just moved into our new house this past Sunday! Except it is not going to be our house until January 22nd due to the unbelievable stupidity of the person who used to live there. I'm pretty sure the whole fucking horrible story is not even worth documenting since I'm sure neither Eric nor I will ever forget the agony of the past couple of weeks. So we're leasing until January and then it will be all ours if nothing else goes terribly wrong. I do love the house and am very much looking forward to painting and decorating and making it our own.
Halloween came and went without us dressing up and at the last minute deciding to go dressed as Christians. We went to a friend's for a bit where I stupidly drank whoop juice then we went to Blocktober fest downtown and had a good time listening to a band and watching a costume contest. After that we went to a little basement bar where I was only able to stay for approximately 15 minutes before I insisted Eric take me home before any more people could see me in that condition. Sometimes my smart shines through the stupid...
We have an engagement party scheduled for this Saturday thrown by our friends Dana and Johnny and I am very excited about that! There will be no whoop juice. I told my dad to come and bring money but he thought I said I was going to give him money so we'll see how that turns out. And speaking of my father, he has laid new boards on the deck in preparation for our upcoming nuptials! And I only had to cry a little!
Mom began her new job at another hospital and this time she'll be working psych so hopefully she will like it more than her last job.
Dad is having his knee replaced in two weeks and I'm a little worried about that but I'm sure he'll be just fine in time to walk me down the grass!