No Crazy Here

New job

2011-10-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

I got a new job! I think this is a good thing. I hope it is a good thing. While I can not imagine anything better than working from home I also think it may get lonely but I'm givng it a shot and we'll see how it goes. I'll start on the 26th. I'm glad to be leaving here as this is a terribly negative place and I don't see myself being happy here.

Extensive update

2011-07-05T12:44:00.005-05:00

I do not like my brand new federal government job. At all. Well, I like the money, but the lesson learned is that sometimes it's not worth the money and I don't think this is. Anyway, I've been here since Valentine's Day and I'm already exploring other job possibilities with three outstanding applications so far. Of course I'm in no hurry this time and I'm going to be sure that I will have a good chance of actually liking the job before I change jobs again. I just want to have a job that I enjoy going to everyday and that I will enjoy for a least several years if not the rest of my working years all together. I just don't think I have the ability to stay at a job I do not like just for the money and the benefits. I don't have that in me. My mom did it but I can't. Speaking of my mom:

That there is one of my favorite pictures of all time. I wish I knew my mom then.

Here is evidence of Dad firing the gun in the house:

Other happenings: We went to the Beale Street Music festival April 29-May 1 with Johnny and Ben and had a wonderful time. We had 8 windows replaced in our house June 14th. Eric got a new car at the end of April and his parents sold his Jeep last week. So long Jeep:

Some of the money from the Jeep sale went to purchasing a new television for the living room and that made Eric very happy. I am looking forward to volunteering at the Chick Ball this weekend.

About those guns

2011-05-27T11:23:00.000-05:00

So, a couple weeks ago my mom and little brother came to pick us up for dinner. We were on the way to the restaurant and mom says "Did I tell you Dad fired a gun inside the house the other day?" Um, no. Forgot to mention that one mom!
My dad found this old pistol that belonged to moy mother's father. He was messing with it outside and discovered that the piece that allows the chamber to rotate was broken(please excuse my lack of gun knowledge/appropriate terms). He fires the gun outside a few times and it does nothing but fire the same empty chamber over and overa gain. He takes the gun inside to continue messing with it while sitting in his recliner watching TV with the woompas cat on his lap. With the gun pointed away from all living creatures and towards the fireplace/mantel he decides to pull the trigger again thinking nothing will happen because it's broken. This time there was a bullet in the chamber and it shot through mantel. My little brother was upstairs and I can only imagine what those terrifying moments were like as he made his way downstairs. All is well now but after all those years with all those guns and children and people around nothing so dumb has ever happened.

Text messages

2011-04-20T12:44:00.004-05:00

Me to Brother Ed: Remember your horse Bucky? With the springs that totally could have amputated our fingers? He was a good, dangerous toy.

Brother Ed: Hahaha. Yes. I think it did actually hurt me once or twice. Good ol days. We had lawn darts at Evas(babysitter) house too.

Me: God. And fucking ponds! In which we could have drowned. And guns everywhere!

Brother: Yeah well we're still here. Now people are afraid to drink out of a water hose.

Apparently I don't like to blog

2010-12-09T13:12:00.005-06:00

It's December and I'm still at this terrible job, but I have gotten a new one! I was "selected for the position" in September. I am now hoping to start by March. We'll see how that goes. It obviously takes a really long time to get a job with the federal government.
I don't like blogging very much because my life seems to be terribly uninteresting. So much has happened this year and yet I don't document any of it.

I was looking back at the blog and saw that at the end of December last year I documented things that happened in 2009 so I'll do that again for this year although just a bit early.

Things that happened in 2010:

-Sister-in-law got married January 2
-We bought our first home
-Amber had a baby
-We got married March 6
-We got a puppy in March
-We had Easter Eve at Eric's parents'
-Molly had a baby
-We went to San Francisco for our honeymoon in August
-Sister had a wedding in October
-I got a new job but did not begin new job
-Cary(Vicksburg), Kathryn(Jackson), Jessica(Eric's cousin, New Orleans), William(my cousin), Katrina(Biloxi) and Jeremy(New Orleans) got married
-Eric's cousin LeAnne had a baby
-My cousin Elsie had a baby
-Jason released a CD
-Bobby decided to go to Barbering school instead

Women

2010-05-28T08:03:00.000-05:00

"Because if smart women who know how smart they are intimidate men (and they do), and beautiful women who know how beautiful they are intimidate men (and they do), there is, logically, nothing more intimidating than a woman who is fully aware that she is both smart and beautiful. I mean, maybe a room full of tigers with machine guns! That could be scarier! Or, a smart and beautiful lady who makes jokes."
“13 Ways of Looking at Liz Lemon” from Tiger Beatdown.

Nepenthe

2010-05-13T12:39:00.004-05:00

I know, I know. That last post really sucked. This one will too because it's kinda sad.
I discovered a word the other day:

Nepenthe: 1. a drug or drink, or the plant yielding it, mentioned by ancient writers as having the power to bring forgetfulness of sorrow or trouble.
2. anything inducing a pleasurable sensation of forgetfulness, esp. of sorrow or trouble.

Wouldn't it be awesome to have a nepenthe for every troubling situation? In a sense we do though because we have friends and family who act as a nepenthe. We have lovely people around us and good things happen to us which cause us to forget or get over the troubling thing or person. But a drug or drink would certainly be nice.
A friend is going through a divorce and god I feel so bad for her. I don't think divorce has ever been this close to me. It's very sad to know that she is probably hurting so bad and I wish I had a nepenthe to offer her. I can only offer my ear and my time and my home and that is what I'll do. I hope she'll heal quickly and that she will find the love that was meant for her and that is good enough for her.

And so it goes

2010-05-12T15:52:00.002-05:00

Eric and I got new phones and this makes me so very happy. It is touch screen and you can access the internet and TAKE PICTURES! Oh my goodness. Also, fuck you At&t.

Things are going just fine around here except I still sort of hate my job and am still looking for a new one. I found out I'm being paid $5,000 less than the mid-range pay for my position. This is no good to me and I feel like I'm being taken advantage of so I'll continue to seek alternative employment.

Dad got the o.k. to take off the neck brace yesterday! WOOT!

Eric and I are going to a wedding in Natchez this weekend. It will be our first trip with the two dogs in tow so it should be interesting at the very least. I do love weddings though. We went to one this past weekend and it was nice.

Job Hunt

2010-05-06T15:04:00.003-05:00

Doctor: How's the job going?
Me: Well, I'm waiting to hear back, but I applied at this other place and I think they require their employees to be christian.
Doctor: Hmm...
Me: So, if I interview and they ask me if I'm a christian what do I say?
Doctor: Praise the Lord!

Things I loathe. People version. Part 4.

2010-04-01T11:42:00.003-05:00

People who can not park properly. And all I mean by "properly" is BETWEEN THE FUCKING LINES. The lines are drawn out for you. It's not a guessing game.

On cohabitation or marriage

2010-03-30T12:26:00.003-05:00

This morning Eric decided he would get up before me to take the puppy out and clean up the kitchen. The puppy is, of course, not yet trained so there is alway shit and piss to clean up. Anyway, I walk in the kitchen to help and Eric is smearing the shit across the floor into the grout between the tiles. I get angry because I do not understand why he can not just pick up the shit instead of wiping is across the floor. Why? Why is it so hard for men to properly clean up a mess? Have you ever seen a man clean up a liquid spill? They wipe it everywhere. The spill could be taking up a square foot and a man will wipe it around in an area twice that size to clean it up. I would put something on top of it to soak it up and then clean inwards toward the center of the spill so as no to make the mess any bigger. Makes sense.

The Unit

2010-03-29T08:39:00.004-05:00

There is a large angry man strapped to a stretcher in the seclusion room down the hall. He has begun to yell a bit and I'm torn between wanting to know what's going on and not wanting to risk getting my ass beat. Should be an interesting day on the unit.

And then we got married and got a puppy!

2010-03-26T08:36:00.004-05:00

We got married on March 6th at 5:30 p.m. It was wonderful and we had so much fun. It was just what we wanted and so many of our friends and family were there to support us.

This past Wednesday, March 24th, we drove to Greenwood to pick up the new addition to our family. Her name is Mia Maude and she is a Havanese. So far, she has been just lovely even when she woke me up at 2AM and Eric didn't even hear her cries!

And then my dad planted a tree in the yard

2010-02-25T09:49:00.003-06:00

So, my dad is an incredible asshole and there's not much more of an excuse for his behavior but that. Also he would die a thousand deaths if he knew I called him an asshole. Once, when I was younger, he was listening as I was talking to one of my friends on the phone and I called him a "dumb butt" and he lost his shit and grounded me or something. I don't quite remember just that it was really bad. But he doesn't even know how to turn on a computer and just today he called and asked if I would "look on that computer and find me some tobacco seeds." That was easy enough but do you know how many different types of tobacco seeds there are? A lot. Anyway, he planted three plum trees in the front yard because he wanted to and it's his property. One of the trees is exactly where the second or third row of chairs for the wedding will need to be placed. This was all explained to him and he doesn't care. I can't remember the exact number but there are approximately 25 acres of land there on which to plant a plum tree and he refuses to move it. And so it is. I was thinking I would just put his chair right by the goddamn tree, but like I said it will probably be the third or so row so that won't work. Now I think I'll just water the tree with a little Round Up after the wedding.

A trainer at a Sea World was killed by an Orca yesterday. As much as I have enjoyed going to zoos and places like that in the past I really sort of have a problem with them now. These animals really shouldn't be caged. Its really just sort of sad, and wrong. And to quote Dr. Hunter S. Thompson:
"Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top."

And now my Dad wears a neck brace

2010-01-27T13:43:00.004-06:00

Sometime Friday, unbeknownst to me, my Dad fell down in the yard and broke his neck. But it's not really as bad as it sounds when you put it like that. Dad fell down and somehow got back up and decided he may have hurt himself so he had mom take him to the MEA clinic. They told him he had arthritis and possibly something wrong but they couldn't tell so call back Tuesday if it still hurts(amazing medical practice if you ask me, which you didn't). Cut to Tuesday when Dad has driven himself to the dentist to have stiches out(totally unrelated boring dental work story) and the MEA calls and tells mom that something is wrong with the X-Ray and Dad should call them immediately because I guess they can't relay the broken neck emergency information to the patient's wife(!). Dad calls and is told he has fractured his second vertebra and should go to St. Dominics right away. He does and has to stay over night and be fitted with a neck brace that he will have to wear for "six weeks or six months I can't remember." Awesome.
Not so important in the big scheme of things sidenote: My wedding is in five weeks!

Friday night Eric and I were given a Stock the Bar Shower by some of our lovely friends, and by our friends I mean Eric's friends who I have acquired through our relationship with one another. So that was awesome and we got lots of booze which I will surely need to get through the next month. I would like to start drinking more during the week, but it sort of interferes with my need to go to the gym and drink lots of water so we'll see about that.

Eric's bachelor party is this weekend and I'm sure they'll have lots of fun in New Orleans. I'm going to have lots of fun here cleaning my parents house and making my little brother help me replace boards on the deck since my dad can't help anymore. If he didn't want to help all he had to do was just say so or just sit there like my mom does. He didn't have to go and break his neck.

I think eventually these posts will get more positive.

Oh, and that reminds me, we officially own the house now as of Friday! So all that shit in November about not being able to close and how awful that was turned out to be what some would call "a blessing in disguise" because we didn't have to pay for that plumbing disaster in December! And I really do hate it when people say "a blessing in disguise" because at that time it didn't feel like a blessing it felt like our shit was in our showers and we had to clean it up.

And now I've been supoenaed

2010-01-15T13:51:00.003-06:00

If that's even how you spell it. I don't even want to be bothered with spell check right now. Tuesday night after I wrote that bitter post my car was broken into at Walgreens. I've learned a few things from this experience:
-Don't leave purse in car. Ever.
-Maybe cell phone insurance isn't such a terribly stupid idea.
-At&t fucking sucks
-I still think some people don't deserve to live.
Today I was given a subpoena to appear at a hearing regarding something I know nothing about because the plaintiff's attorney is dumb. Awesome.

And now we have no water

2010-01-12T15:27:00.004-06:00

The weather here has been terribly cold. So cold that many many water mains throughout the city have burst and we are on our third day without water. This is pretty fucking bad but it is made worse to me because a month or so ago our sewage began backing up into our showers and they dug up our beautiful front yard and walkway to replace the entire pipe. I've gotten very good at the cognitive behavioral therapy technique of telling myself "I love this house so much" instead of "This house is bad luck and we are doomed."
We are set to close on the 22nd. Ten days. We have a stock the bar party that night and are going camping the next. It is much too cold right now to be outside.
We have so much to do to prepare for the wedding and my family is less than enthusiastic. I've given up on expecting them to do anything. I've also given up on expecting my friends and family members to be decent, considerate human beings. I'm thinking of giving it up myself. At least when interacting with them.

New Year

2009-12-31T14:03:00.002-06:00

Well, that was a really fast year. I think 2009 was one of the best years yet. We celebrated New Years Eve last year at a casino in Vicksburg and I had no idea at the time how significant that city would become to me and to us as a couple. Eric purchased my engagement ring from a jeweler in Vicksburg and we went on to purchase the wedding bands there too. This year was a whole lot of fun and a whole lot of work but in the end it all turned out really well. I'm pretty stoked about 2010 since we'll be getting married in March and will hopefully be homeowners at the end of this month. I'm going to try to be more positive and just nicer to people in general. This is going to be really hard for me.

Significant Events 2009(in no particular order):
Got engaged
Moved in with Eric
Almost bought a house
Sister got engaged and married and moved to Hawaii
Eric's sister got engaged
Mom lost her job and got another
Dad had right knee replaced
Amber and Molly got pregnant
Cassie had a baby
Brother decided to become music major

Where were we?

2009-11-10T12:57:00.003-06:00

Apparently we were in August. Now it is November and I guess I got tired of posting on this stupid blog. So, for now, updates only.
Wedding planning began furiously and is now almost non-existent as we just moved into our new house this past Sunday! Except it is not going to be our house until January 22nd due to the unbelievable stupidity of the person who used to live there. I'm pretty sure the whole fucking horrible story is not even worth documenting since I'm sure neither Eric nor I will ever forget the agony of the past couple of weeks. So we're leasing until January and then it will be all ours if nothing else goes terribly wrong. I do love the house and am very much looking forward to painting and decorating and making it our own.
Halloween came and went without us dressing up and at the last minute deciding to go dressed as Christians. We went to a friend's for a bit where I stupidly drank whoop juice then we went to Blocktober fest downtown and had a good time listening to a band and watching a costume contest. After that we went to a little basement bar where I was only able to stay for approximately 15 minutes before I insisted Eric take me home before any more people could see me in that condition. Sometimes my smart shines through the stupid...
We have an engagement party scheduled for this Saturday thrown by our friends Dana and Johnny and I am very excited about that! There will be no whoop juice. I told my dad to come and bring money but he thought I said I was going to give him money so we'll see how that turns out. And speaking of my father, he has laid new boards on the deck in preparation for our upcoming nuptials! And I only had to cry a little!
Mom began her new job at another hospital and this time she'll be working psych so hopefully she will like it more than her last job.
Dad is having his knee replaced in two weeks and I'm a little worried about that but I'm sure he'll be just fine in time to walk me down the grass!

We're getting married

2009-08-20T09:13:00.004-05:00

We were all set to leave for California after work on the 5th when the airline called and said our flight had been cancelled due to inclement weather in Dallas. We left early the next morning and arrived in California on the 6th. My brother picked us up at the airport and we headed to Huntington Beach. We had lunch and then headed up to LA to see a Dodgers game. We had time to kill so we walked around China Town where I learned that an ounce of gold is over a thousand dollars so I called my dad and told him he would not be getting what he wanted (I later got him an ounce of silver instead). The Dodgers were playing the Braves and of the 4 games they played this ended up being the only one the Braves lost. Eric was sad.

Friday night Ed had to work so Eric and I went to Main street and hung out with some of Ed's friends and went home somewhat early. Saturday we hung out with Ed and went to work with him that night at the Crazy Horse. We ate dinner before that of course and to kill sometime before going to the club Eric and I went to Barnes and Nobles and read magazines. The club was interesting and Lil John made a somewhat disappointing apperance. If we had only been up front in the crowd I could have had tequila poured in my mouth by Lil John!

I can't quite remember which day we did what, but one day we spent about an hour laying out on the beach. The water was so cold Eric and I didn't get in. Another day Eric and I rented a tandem bicycle and rode up and down the PCH for a little over an hour. We rode up to dog beach and watched the dogs play for a while and while we were watching them we spotted dolphins surfing! I was so cool to see that in real life and not just on TV.

Sunday we planned to walk the pier and drink all day. We walked down and had lunch at Savannah's by the pier then went to the pier and began walking and watching all the people on the beach and all the people surfing. It was a beautiful day. We walked all the way to the end because Eric wanted to and we saw two guys get in trouble for being so far out in the water. Someone said they had jumped off the pier. We started walking back up the pier and as we were looking over at the surfers Eric knelt down to tie his shoe. He called my name and when I turned around he was on one knee holding my beautiful ring. I think I said "What are you doing?" then "Are you serious?!" and Eric asked me again to marry him. I said "yes" and took the ring out of his hand because I think I was afraid he was going to drop it over the side of the pier. Ed took pictures of the whole thing and I am so glad he was there with us. We went to many bars that day and into the night and had an amazing time.

Monday we went to Knott's Berry Farm and rode the rollercoasters. That night we ate chinese food and watched a movie.

I am so happy to be engaged and even more excited about our upcoming marriage. Eric is amazing and I am very lucky to have him in my life.

I prefer it fried

2009-07-08T12:54:00.002-05:00

Dad said the dog, who is supposed to be a pomeranian but looks more like a smallish black blob of a dog, has been eating his chickens. I find this hard to believe, but there are noticebly fewer chickens and the dog is really fat.

Apparently I love blogging about garbage.

2009-07-06T11:03:00.004-05:00

Back to the interesting topic that is the neighbors' garbage can. Eric suggested that the garbage can is a community garbage can and now that just makes perfect sense. There's the one garbage can that sits out there all the time (there used to be two remember?). This is the only garbage can (other then mine) between the two four-plex apartment buildings and I've come to realize that all of the neighbors put their garbage in the one can and just leave it sitting out there on the street. But now someone has begun to take my garbage out of my can and do who knows what with it. Eric said just let them do it but I find this very weird and very creepy. I would never ever take someone else's garbage out of their can. Like I'm not going to notice that and what am I supposed to do now? Leave a thank you note? Weird fucking neighbors I have. Reason 52957 I would like to buy a house really really soon.
Moving on... Eric and I went to the New Orleans area to celebrate the holiday with his family this past weekend. It was lots of fun. Especially the part where Eric made me and his mother margaritas and I made Eric put extra tequila in them. Two nights of very interrupted sleep really makes you appreciate your own bed.

Most boring blog ever. Well, not quite.

2009-06-08T14:31:00.004-05:00

It seems that my life is so boring even I don't want to write and/or read about it. Not really. I just am really not much of a writer/story-teller, and I have a hard time getting stuff down. Like, I was going to write this long, funny post about how I almost got arrested some weeks back when Eric and I went out of town to stay with Kristin but about half way through the story I got bored with myself so that post never came to be. The short version is after leaving the bar that Friday night me, Eric, Kristin, and Ryan stopped at a gas station so Kristin could get the much-talked-about chicken-on-a-stick, and upon leaving the gas station I forgot to turn on my lights. I then drove right past a police officer who immediately pulled me over. There was much debate between myself and the officer, then the officer and Kristin, then the officer and eric, then myself and the officer again, AND a breathalizer AND a HGN. I was let go after all of that. I will maintain that I have crazy good luck when it comes to me and breaking the law. I will also maintain that it always helps to have your attornery in the car with you at all times but especially when you are breaking the law. So , I guess its ok if I never win anything so long as I can continue to evade the law. That's my prize. Freedom.

Things I loathe. People Vervion. Part 3 follow up follow up.

2009-06-08T14:28:00.003-05:00

So, although my neighbor tried to continue to use the garbage can I ran over, it was not up to par as a garbage can should be, so it no longer appears at the end of our driveway. However, the other garbage can remains until it too finds itself laying across the driveway, and meets the tires of my car.

Low talkers

2009-05-14T15:33:00.002-05:00

Last night Eric and I watched the Sienfeld episode about the low talker. Funny it was. My last assessment today was with a guy who turned out to be a low talker. Not so funny after all. Completely fucking annoying is what it was. Also annoying is when the low talker gets frustrated with YOU for asking him to repeat himself. Fucking christ man. Speak up.

god who?

2009-05-13T12:44:00.001-05:00

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
-Historian Henry Roberts (1901-1971)

Taken from http://yocontraellos.blogspot.com/

This makes perfect sense to me. Christianity does not.

Things I love. #2

2009-05-08T11:03:00.004-05:00

-My siblings

In particular my little brother. I love all my siblings very much. It is a love like no other love but last night we went to my little brother's final high school choir concert so he gets the post love today. Bobby is one of the sweetest people I know. People tell my mother about how sweet he is all the time. And with being raised by a father like we have it's amazing we're not all in prison right about now. Bobby is graduating high school in a couple of weeks and I am very happy for him. I hope he goes on to college and majors in a subject that he absolutely loves, and that will lead him to a career that fills him with happiness. He is very talented and charismatic, much like our older brother, even though they are 12 years apart they have many of the same facial expressions and mannerisms, and sound just alike when they sing. When Bobby hugs me he kisses me on the head. I don't know why he does that or exactly when he started doing it, but it's alright with me.

Things I loathe. People Version. Part 3 Follow Up

2009-05-08T10:57:00.006-05:00

So, I ran over that fucking garbage can yesterday. My sister and I were going back to my apartment after seeing a new art exhibit and that fucking garbage can was laying across the driveway. I had no choice. It had to be done. I had to leave again and when I went home later my neighbor had taken that fucking garbage can, popped it out, and put garbage in it for pick up today. And so the saga continues...

Institutionalized

2009-05-01T15:50:00.002-05:00

One of my patients is a murderer. For real. He just did 20 years in prison. So what now? What the hell is he going to do for the rest of his life? Our justice system is fucked. They put this man with mental illness and mental retardation in prison for 20 years for murder and let him out with no plans for what to do with the rest of his life. I absolutely believe he should have done that time, but shouldn't he have been trying to accomplish something while he was there? Like maybe learn something or make some money or ANYTHING but fucking live there just breathing and eating and wasting away?

Things I loathe. People version. Part 3.

2009-04-23T08:27:00.004-05:00

-My neighbor(s) who leaves her gabage cans on the curb all the time.

She never takes the cans to the back of the house. They are always sitting there at the end of the drive way. She takes the garbage to the cans about twice a week and never moves the garbage cans away from the road. This really, really bothers me. Especially when the wind or the garbage man moves the garbage cans in the middle of the driveway entrance. I told Eric I was going to run them over the next time they are in my way. I then started talking about how I wanted to move the garbage cans somewhere so she would have to look for them and then go get them. I've even thought about leaving a nice little note on the garbage cans saying something about how lazy it is for a person to just leave their empty cans out by the road creating an eyesore for everyone driving or walking past. Yesterday Eric and I decided to go for a walk and when we were leaving the apartment I saw the garbage cans. I picked up one and moved it to the end of the block under a tree on the corner. Eric thought this was hilarious. I felt a little better just knowing the lazy neighbor would have to walk those few extra feet to retrieve her garbage can.

Snakes in the Pond

2009-04-20T16:16:00.006-05:00

"A woman's just like a snake, the last thing that dies is her tail." -Truman Capote

One of the great mysteries in the world is why my father likes Truman Capote. I will never understand and that's fine because there are a lot of mysteries involving my father. This past Sunday I was at my parents' house and Dad was telling me about the two snakes he shot that morning because they were swimming around in one of his ponds eating the fish he had just purchased the day before. We go outside to take a look at the "water snakes" and the first one had already been cut open by my Dad so he could prove it had indeed eaten a fish. There was definately a fish in there. While looking at this aftermath Dad was poking the snake and it's tail was moving around a bit. That's when he quoted Capote although not exactly right but close enough. The second snake had yet to be disected so I took pictures while Dad cut it open. Two fish in that one. Dad was pissed that the snakes had cost him approximately 80 cents.

This past weekend was great. Eric found out he passed the bar exam last Thursday so there was much celebrating to be done (see Eric's blog). I am very proud of him and happy for him and glad all that waiting is over. He is being sworn in today and everything will be official.

The psychology of a psychiatrist

2009-04-15T12:01:00.002-05:00

For the rest of this week my co-worker will be out and I will be covering for her. This is good because upon her retirement on the 30th I will be taking her position. So, this morning I rounded with the Attending (Dr. G) and other members of the team. Dr. G told me at the beginning of rounds that I am one of his favorite people in the world. I didn't know what to say except 'thank you'. Then I started thinking about just what the hell he was trying to do kissing my ass like that. Now, I really like this particular doctor, but it was strange and he probably tells everyone that anyway so I should just take the compliment and move on. Which I did.

Dream a Dream for Hair

2009-04-14T10:22:00.004-05:00

I dreamed about the retards again last night but all I can remember from the dream is that my friend Ryan had a new hair do. This is made more weird by the fact that 7 days ago Ryan text me: 'I think I'm going to try a new hair dew. The damn Shamwow guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns4mnmNBk1Y), whom I might add was arrested last week for beating up a prostitute, has the same style as me.' I suggested a few things he might try then forgot about the whole thing. Cut to this morning and my dream and me texting Ryan to let him know about the dream. He tells me he got his hair cut yesterday with new do and all. He even went with one of my suggestions. I think this is all very weird. I also think it is very funny that Ryan changed his hair because of the Shamwow guy. I don't know how he even got to that point but it's funny to think that he was watching TV or youtube one day and saw that commercial that was all "Goddamnit! Now I have to change my hair!" Hilarious.

Another not so funny story is that I'm getting new flooring in the bathroom of my apartment tomorrow. Since moving in I have noticed the smell of urine in the bathroom. This smell gets much worse after showering and on warm days. After much cleaning and trying to ignore I finally addressed this issue with the apartment company and first they checked(cleaned?) the "P-trap". Then I had to go about educating myself about a p-trap. The smell remained. So now new flooring and hopefully no more pee smell but my own.

In other news we are just waiting and waiting and waiting for Thursday afternoon to get here. It's only taken almost two months and I'm officially over the waiting. Lets move on already. Eric, I know you passed and I love you even though I dream about other guys sometimes. But never any of my ex-boyfriends so that's something right?

Things aren't always what they seem...

2009-04-10T14:21:00.002-05:00

People frequently tell me that they think I'm stuck up and mean before they get to know me. I'm not sure how to take this. I gues it means that I LOOK stuck up and mean? If you don't know me then how would you even come to those conclusions? Beats the hell out of me. This doesn't really bother me much and I guess what bothers me most is that maybe people are avoiding me because I seem to be something I am not, which is an awfully complicated thing to be doing with someone who you don't even know. I guess its the same as me being annoyed by those really happy, hyper, always chipper and smiley people. But I don't think that because they are that way outwardly then they are thay way within. Perhaps I should. Perhaps. Anyway theres not a whole lot that can be done about this because I think its mostly that I have good posture and I don't smile a whole lot. The way I hold my face or something. Fuck it.

Ok, ok

2009-04-06T14:52:00.005-05:00

Now for my monthly post.

All is well in gabieland. Nothing exciting has happened so there has not been anything exciting to report.

I have begun making coasters out of tile and cross stitching quotes for my friends and family. That in itself is evidence that nothing exciting has been going on in my life.

A guy I graduated school with was killed in a car accident a couple weeks ago. Brad Gibson. He visited me in my dreams this past weekend. This is weird because we were not friends, just acquaintances, and I haven't seen him in years. In my dream we were just kinda hanging out and talking. He was very sweet and I think that is how he was all the time.
This is how I imagine any sort of afterlife to be. I think when you're dead you're just dead and you sort of live on in people's memories. I don't believe in heaven or hell and I think those who do are irrational thinkers and need a way to cope with dying. Brad will live on for a long time because a lot of people loved him and will miss him terribly.

Things I Love

2009-03-06T11:21:00.003-06:00

And just because I am seeming like a bitter old cunt here are some things I love:

-Live Music

-Smart/Funny People

-My family, friends, and Eric

-Candy

-Game Night

-Whiskey

Things I loathe. People version. Part 2.

2009-03-06T11:08:00.005-06:00

-Inconsiderate upstairs neighbors who walk around in their heeled shoes at all hours of the day and night(take your fucking shoes off and put on some goddamn slippers already).

-Inconsiderate upstairs neighbors who are too selfabsorbed to realize there are other people in the building who may be responsible employees who have to be at work in the morning and can not sleep with all the walking and talking and music and shit going on upstairs.

Things I loathe. Things version.

2009-03-03T09:55:00.004-06:00

-Organized religion

-Pro-life movement

-Dirty fingernails

-"Honkey Tonks"

Apartment

2009-02-03T11:09:00.002-06:00

I moved into my apartment. Finally. It has been a long four months at my parents house. I am now just one mile away from Eric and even closer to one of my favorite bars. This will be my second time living downtown and I am very happy to be back. There is a grocery very near by and work is a few minute drive. My apartment, I think, is terribly cute and I've almost finished unpacking and organizing everything.

Apparently I love my dog the most

2009-01-27T15:30:00.003-06:00

"I can hear my next door neighbor being nice to her cat through my kitchen wall. I don’t care for cats, but it’s oddly touching. No one talks to even their most loved ones in the same voice they use to talk to their pets." -From the archives of Sarah Brown's Que Sera Sera blog (http://queserasera.org/archives/2001_11.html)

That kind of shook me a bit. I should be nicer to my loved ones. You should hear the way I greet Gus everyday. It's pretty ridiculous. I put my shit down and pick him up and hug him and kiss him and talk to him. My family members, on the other hand, get a simple hello. Eric gets a hug and a kiss but not the picking up. That would be weird probably and bad for my back.

Way past my bedtime

2009-01-26T01:20:00.001-06:00

The only good thing about being at work at 1:20 AM? The money.

New year, no words

2009-01-21T09:30:00.005-06:00

So, this blog thing is not going so well as I can't seem to do it on any sort of regular basis. Anyway. Moving on.

Yesterday was an amazing day and I have no words to describe it. I am only 27 but I have never been so excited about a President and I can not imagine being this excited again. "Hope is a good thing, if not the best of things and a good thing never dies."

Even thought my dad can be terrible and mean I have decided to take him to see Grand Torino this weekend for his birthday. My mother told me about a week ago that dad wanted to see this movie which was strange because she doesn't think he has been to see a movie since before they were married approximately 30 years ago. Isn't that fucking strange? Then my older brother text me and said Clint Eastwood plays dad in that movie. Isn't that also fucking strange? So, I'm sucking it up and I'm taking him. My sister and little brother are going too so that will make it better. Will have to take a picture to commemorate the moment. I don't know what it is with my dad and movies. I guess some people just don't like movies. I've never known him to even watch a movie on television or rent a movie. It should be intersting and will probably never happen again.

I paid the deposit for an apartment yesterday. So fucking stoked about that. Living with my parents is close to hell. My mood is improving I promise.

New Year

2009-01-02T10:51:00.003-06:00

So, yeah, it's been a bit. As for the follow-up to the last blog I will say that my sister can definitely karaoke better than your sister.
The holidays were good. Better than last no doubt. 2008 started out bad but got better and better. I miss my friends in the last town and the retards. I love that my family is here and Eric and I are together. I expect 2009 will be wonderful and I feel like my adult life is sort of just beginning. Not really and resolutions here because I'm pretty much awesome. Just kidding of course. I think resolutions are stupid. Happy New Year.

Happy Birthday Brother

2008-12-14T12:00:00.002-06:00

Today is my birthday. It is also my older brother's birthday. We are exactly three years apart. Sometimes I feel like we are twins and I miss him terribly. He will be home for the holidays and I'm hoping I can convince my little brother and sister to go with us to the bar and sing karaoke. And by that I mean I hope my brothers and sister will sing. There's no way I'm doing that.

Happy Birthday

2008-12-12T15:31:00.001-06:00

Today is Eric and the little sister's birthday. I love them both and hope I go before them both.

Insanity Defense

2008-12-10T17:22:00.005-06:00

There are many reasons why I fully expect to experience a psychotic break at some point in my life. The mental stability of some members of my immediate family being the main reason. This is not a very good example, but it is the most recent so it will do for now.

When I got home from work today my mom and dad are standing in the kitchen and the conversation is as follows:

Dad (in thick country accent): Hey Gabie, what is the gestational period of a squirrel?

Me: I don't know. Why would I know something like that?

Dad: I don't know, just thought you might. Well, maybe you can tell me the capitol of Alaska.

Me (Ashamed I did not know): ANCHORAGE!

Mom: Nooo...

Gabie (phone ringing): Let's see if Eric knows (anwers phone). Hey, what's the capitol of Alaska?

Eric: Juneau.

Gabie (to parents): Juneau.

Mom: That's what I thought.

Dad: That's what we thought.

Gabie (to eric): Do you know the gestational period of a squirrel?

Eric: No.

Gabie: Me neither. He doesn't know.

Dad: Get on that computer and look it up for me.

Gabie: Why didn't you just look in the encyclopedia?

Dad: I did, couldn't find it.

So, I looked it up and it varies, but approximately 40 days. I learned at least two things today when I got home from work so I'm not complaining. My dad asks me alot of very random questions thinking I will know the answer because I have a masters degree. About a month ago dad asked, "What's the melting point of copper?" I said, "I have no idea dad. Why would I know something like that?" He replied, "You went to college, I thought you might have learned that along the way." To which I reminded him, "I have a master's degree in Social Work dad. I don't remember learning the melting point of any metals in any of my social work classes."

Hospital Heaven

2008-12-04T15:29:00.006-06:00

Occasionally while I am working a dead body will be rolled past me. Later the family comes to say goodbye and cry. I always think about what that family must be feeling because I have no idea. I have never lost anyone who was really close to me and I fear the day that happens (excluding my grandparents but I was so young I don't remember the feeling). My grandfather and his siblings have died in order of birth so far. My great aunt and her sister are the only remaining siblings. I guess that's how it should be. Happy Birthday little brother. I hope I go before you.

Grey skys with 100% chance of crazy

2008-12-04T08:27:00.006-06:00

When I walked outside to get into my car this morning I was surrounded by an alarming color. I don't know if I should say the outside of my house, the world, mississippi, or what, but everything was blue/grey. When I looked at my skin in this light it was very very pale which isn't suprising if you know me, but was alarming to me nonetheless. It was a very calming, soothing color that was partnered with really shitty weather. Then my thoughts went to the psychiatric patients I work with everyday. Interesting how our thougth processes work isn't it? I was thinking they go through all those medications and all that talking and poking and proding and all they really need is laughter. In some cases laughter is the best medicine I think. Most of the patients are sad. Really fucking sad. And maybe if they had something and someone in their life to make them laugh they wouldn't be so sad. Or maybe not. I don't know. I just know they don't laugh very much when they are here and probably not much at all and that really fucking sucks cause I laugh alot. I laugh with my family and with my friends and with my co-workers. I'm not suggesting that this is all it takes. There are many other things that can be wrong besides just being really fucking sad but I think there should be laughter and music.

Self restraint

2008-12-03T10:10:00.002-06:00

I dreamed about them again last night. The retards. I don't remember the actual clients I was dreaming about, but I've only ever known certain retards so it had to be them. In my dream I was the only staff watching the entire female cottage (26 people) when one of the ladies began to get out of hand and wouldn't self restrain (lay on the floor face down with hands behind back) so I had to leave them all to run over to the male cottage to get help. This is just all so silly really. I dream about them so often and never remember dreaming about the psychiatric patients I see although I'm sure that I do.

Holidays.

2008-12-01T16:04:00.005-06:00

So, parts of that last post came true. Others did not. I stayed at E's place the night before so I didn't really wake up early. I went home and began cleaning and making the shit that I was responsible for. Mom had already made hers. Went to gather my ingredients and noticed one very important thing was missing. I knew Dad had taken it even though he would have had to look over the one that he had purchased in order to find mine. I yelled at Dad for being inconsiderate and forgetful which, looking back, was completely mean and unnecessary. Then I made a drink. The night before I made little brother clean some things and bring the fake christmas tree in from outside as I knew my mother would want us to begin decorating soon. My sister came in at some point and made her dish which consisted of alot of garlic. Then something amazing happened. I finished making my thing and cleaning what I could and started dragging out decorations (the stuff is cooking, things have been cleaned, there is nothing else to do) when my sister offered to do the dragging out of shit instead. I couldn't believe it. So she was doing that and I was doing something else and although the little brother didn't really do anything he sat in the living room and looked at pictures and said funny things while we did. E came over during all of this and contributed to the entertainment. We ate, we cleaned, we continued decorating. I'm really glad E was there and we had a good time just being together. He left a while later and I took a nap. My friend Dana and I went out that night for drinks and a good time was had by all.

Holidays?

2008-11-25T10:29:00.005-06:00

The holidays always seem a bit depressing to me. Mostly because just being around my family stresses me out and this year I am living with my family once again. Bring it on depression! I vow to never be living at my parents house during the holidays again. Another depressing thing is I don't have alot of extended family so it's usually just me, mom dad, brother(s), sister, and great aunt. This year great aunt and older brother are in California but we will have the addition of E and possibly sister's boyfriend. This is how things will go: (Are you ready E? I'm predicting the future. He loves it when I do this.) I will wake up early, go downstairs, and view the mess that has become the kitchen over the past two days as my dad has begun to prepare the food and not clean up anything as he goes. My mood immediately becomes bitter because I will have to start cleaning becasue noone else is going to do it. I will also begin to prepare the one and only casserole I am in charge of making. My mother and sister will enter the kitchen at some point and begin preparing the casseroles or other food stuff they are in charge of making. My little brother will probably be sleeping or in his room watching TV because he never has to do anything inside of the house (bitter just thinking about it). The remainder of the morning will be spent cleaning up after everyone until it is time to eat. Eating will take approximately 20 minutes after the hours of preparation. Then there is more cleaning and putting stuff away into the refridgerator where there is no room for all the stuff. This will require more cleaning. Then? Mom and Dad will go sit in their recliners in the living room and fall asleep, little brother will go back up to his room, and sister will go to her boyfriend's house. This leaves me and E. E will go to New Orleans at some point and I will be left alone with the dog and the mess and my misery.

Things I loathe. People version.

2008-11-21T10:47:00.004-06:00

People who stand on stairs or in entrance ways and chat.

People who walk on the left hand side of hallways or sidewalks.

People who try to get into an elevator before the people in it can get out.

Non-disabled people who take the elevator one floor up or down.

The neighborhood

2008-11-20T11:24:00.004-06:00

So, I was going through some of the books at my parents house yesterday and discovered "The World According to Mister Rogers." How amazing does that sound? The vast amount of books inside my parents house is a frequent source of contention between myself and my mother. There are hundreds of books in that house. There are books on bookshelves, books in cabinets, books on tables, books in every bathroom, books in every room, and books stacked on the floor and in the corners. I moved back in with my parents at the end of August and have decided to do something about all the books. This makes my mother sad. There are, however, some amazing books and those will be taken with me when I move because I love those books. I love all the books really. Or maybe I love that my mother loves all those books and I love reading good books. I don't really know why my mother has collected so many books and why she has a hard time parting with them. Some of them, like the one by Mister Rogers, are just little readers that might take you an hour and might make a good gift. Others are hundreds of pages long and about subjects I couldn't be any less interested in reading about. My mother hasn't read all of the books either. She just likes to have them around I think. But there are definately, on average, more books coming in to the house than going out of the house. Something I always notice about other peoples' homes is whether or not there are any books. There will always be lots of books in mine.

Confessions

2008-11-19T09:04:00.006-06:00

I am not a christian. I used to be until about 8 years ago. This is hard for some people to accept considering we are in Mississippi, but the hardest thing for me to accept is the assuming. People often assume that I am a christian, and are shocked when they discover I am not. Then there is a whole conversation consisting of me defending my beliefs, or lack thereof. I'm not shocked to discover someone is a christian and when I do, I do not ask them to explain to me why.
I changed my mind about chrisitianity for a number of reasons. The main reason being it just didn't make sense to me anymore. I was growing up and learning new things and decided I didn't want to be associated with such a hypocritical religion, or any religion for that matter. I think that if someone needs religion to be a part of their life then that is their business, but I don't need it to be a part of mine and I don't need people to tell me this is wrong and that I am going to hell or as one woman put it "your soul is already dead."

Bad boys

2008-11-18T13:12:00.002-06:00

I was watching TV with my dad last night and lately that will consist of Tru TV or Cops or something like that. This brings up memories for my dad from when he was a cop and it is really interesting for me to hear these stoies because I have no recollection of him actually being a cop. It seems as if he had lived three or more different lives before becoming my dad. The same goes for my mother but she's not as into the storytelling. I wonder if I will tell my children (if I have children) stories about my life now.

Love life

2008-11-18T09:35:00.011-06:00

E and I met over 10 years ago and neither of us will ever be able to pinpoint the exact date because, I suppose, it was nothing special at the time. Just another guy. Just another girl. Although he may tell it differently but I don't think he will. I know we knew each other fairly well in 1996 because his father recently gave me a picture of myself to give to E that I had initially given to him in 1996. It was not, however, the picture with the crimped hair that E had requested which was later given to him by my mother much to my dismay. I had written him a clever little note on the back and everything. I will have to check my old diary for the exact date but somewhere around this time, although I believe it was a year or so later, was when I had a short-lived crush on him but couldn't act on it because he was with another girl (not that my acting would have amounted to anything more than laughing at his jokes or batting my eyes). Later on when I was about a sophomore or Junior in high school E and I "dated" for about one month before I decided to call it off because it was getting to "serious." And by "dated" I mean made out with each other. Turns out this was a good move on my part because we had our first real grown up date on September 5th of this year. I am 26 and he is 28. Over the years we have been in and out of touch like good friends do when they go to college then move away for more college then get involved in other serious adult relationships. I moved back to this city at the end of August of this year and gave in to his many requests for a date. It's over two months later and we're in love. And I'm glad we didn't take things any further 10 years ago because it may have just fucked everything up. That was one of the first of many times my flighty, compulsive behavior led to things working out for the better.

People with Mental Retardation

2008-11-17T12:32:00.002-06:00

I dreamed about the retards last night. I know I call them retards and tell funny stories, but those people changed me for the better I think. They creep into my dreams from time to time and I love that. Some of them would be so fucking happy to see me everyday even if it was only because I had something they wanted(usually mail). Sometimes I would just stare at them and wonder what the hell they were thinking about when they were staring off into space because it had to be something but they just didn't have the ability to explain. And, god, were they funny. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. Also in my dream somebody died but was resusitated. I was watching it happen through a window where a blind had been closed but not all the way and I was peeping through the space. I tend to believe that dreams are subconsious thoughts playing out, but I don't even remember thinking about the retards at all yesterday.